Digital art/ Mental health art

Happy Mental Health week!

Can you see me now?

Can you see me now? (2017)

I’ll admit at the moment I’m in a down state, there have probably been signs of it for the past few days but only now, as things have gotten to it’s “Bad,” Level where my mind is wishing for it to end. People tell me, “The mood will pass,” But what they don’t see is that I remember each one of my bad down states, they leave scars , burn marks and blisters. I hide them behind a mask because, in mental illness you have to remain strong.

With mental illness, it’s hard enough to battle with it, battling with the stigma and people’s point of views is another hill to climb over. The people with the conditions will probably think of themselves as something like, “Weak,” Or, “Crazy,” Or even something worse. We don’t need to be told any negative point of views, mental health needs acceptance and to be dealt with appropriately.

 

Body Dysmorphia CUT

Body Dysmorphia (2017)

It’s a condition which distorts how you view yourself, finding flaws in your own appearance, although it’s not always looking too, “Fat,” sometimes the viewer can see themselves as, “Too Skinny,” Or even, “Not symmetrical,” Enough. They can see themselves as being, “Disfigured.” People start working on, “fixing,” themselves doing things like obsessively weighing themselves, over exercising, needing constant reassurance, using heavy makeup or tanning etc.

Sometimes the obsession can lead to eating disorders.

Digital Art/ Mental Health Project

Defusion techniques FINALDefusion Techniques (2017)– It was part of my CBT, to get me to challenge the negative thoughts. To make it better to remember I drew this taking my pet rabbit- Poirot, as a muse. Ok, it doesn’t help all the time to challenge thoughts, especially if you have a mind like mine where you end up having arguments with yourself. I figured I’d show one way to help negative thinking. With Depression, Bipolar disorder or any mental health issue, it’s probably the number 1 trigger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall to PiecesFall to pieces (2017)- One thing about Borderline Personality disorder, I try to get across to people is the oversensitivity some of us have. One little change and our emotions can shift in a matter of seconds. Stability turns into a nervous wreck. It’s like one gust of wind and you’ll find yourself falling to pieces with no idea how to piece yourself back.

 

 

 

Digital Art/Mental health project

Inner Child5Inner Child (2017)- I finished CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy) Last week, one of the things mentioned was that emotionally, I’m still a child. I held onto the hope of someone telling me in my childhood that, “Everything is ok,”  For so long, I haven’t grown up properly, hence one of the reasons I have Borderline personality disorder. This piece was to show that no matter what the make up, there is still that piece of me that is anxious when it comes to people because I’m worried about what they will say or do. I can hide behind the make up, pretend to be brave but in the end the part of me that experienced the emotional abuse growing up is still there and is sensitive to that around me.

Time

Mercy tree (2017)

When it comes to mental health issues, time seems like an important thing. An episode of Mania, depression and/or psychosis, can last for days, weeks or even months, the ticking of the clock can get annoying waiting for the episode to pass. You can hope that the episode will go as fast as possible but the truth is, it will last as long as it wants too. Telling someone to, “Get over it,” Never works. Each cog on the tree represents a day. You need to wait, till each cog has fallen for the clocks to stop again before the sky becomes clear blue again.

Digital Art/ Mental Health Project

FreedomCUTFreedom (2017)

If you’ve been stuck in a situation long enough, you can feel trapped in it. However, once you get out, there then comes the task of having to fix yourself. Like if you’re abused by someone, it can take time trying to get out of it but then there is the task of fixing the emotional scars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CBT (2017) – I’m cCBT9oming to the end of my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it’s probably the number one asked question is, “What have you learned?” Most of the time my mind is too either slow or busy to come up with a real answer. So, to make my therapist happy, I made this..

 

 

 

Painting Project + Update

 

Dreamer.png Cage on the Ground (2017)

Inspired by the Flyleaf Song Cage on the Ground. The song really speaks to me, as to me personally it talks about the cage we all are stuck in but we do have a chance to escape it and break out of this control society has on us

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update- 

As I have mentioned in my artwork and explanations, I have various mental health conditions. I’m actually happy to announce my story on Bipolar and one of my artworks has been published on The Guardian Website 🙂

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/31/experiences-of-bipolar-disorder-every-day-it-feels-like-i-must-wear-a-mask

 

Fanart- Ellen Schreiber’s Vampire Kisses Valentine fan art competition

V.K Valentines FanArt.jpg

Around February Author Ellen Schreiber announced a fan art competition for her manga/book series Vampire Kisses as a major fan of the books I decided to have a go… I was one of the 2 winners and won a signed book and book mark 🙂

Painting project

3-times-a-day-7-days-a-week3 times a day, 7 days a week (2016)
One of the things about having Chronic Illnesses is the amount of medication you can be stuck with. This is some of the empty blister packets I have and decided to use. The clocks symbolise the times of day to take my tablets and the flowers are there because sometimes the medication doesn’t work and the only thing you have going is positive thinking and hope

ribs-and-heartRibs and heart (2017)

I haven’t done oil painting in a while. The feeling of anxiety had been gripping me that week. The feeling like something was tightening my chest was there.  My first thought was to draw a hand squeezing a heart, but as I painted it progressed into flowers and vines flowing down the ribs.

Painting Project

The Good and the Bad (2016)

The idea behind this painting came from my latest depression cycle. I keep getting fed up of people telling me that the down mood will pass. The thing is I know it will pass, I remember the good times, but the problem is those memories do nothing to effect my mood when it is in that deep

Chasing those good times

The paranoid fairground

The Paranoid Fairground (2016)

Ok, I’ll admit this is felt tip and not paint.

The idea behind this one came from a song called Paranoid Circus by a band called Lyriel

 

Independence & Nyctophobia (Mental Health Project)

Nyctophobia

Nyctophobia (2014), is a phobia` characterised by a severe fear of the dark. It is triggered by the brain’s disfigured perception of what would, or could, happen when in a dark environment.

Chances are we all had a time when we were afraid of the dark as a child, it’s where the monsters lurked. The trouble is when you are afraid of the dark when you are an adult. I have a phobia of sleep and I’ll admit part of it is down to those irrational thoughts that my brain is telling me. “If you sleep something will come and get you.”

 

independance.jpg

Independence (2014)-

Independence- the ability to live your life without being helped or influenced by other people

What does Independence mean to you?

Freedom, it’s that light that offers some form of hope, a way out, when things feel too dark and you feel too tired to keep on fighting though everyones boundaries. I get trapped in that forest, of darkness and chains too often feeling the pressures of those around me but it’s remembering to look up at the way out which is difficult when you are focused on the troubles in front of you

Mental Health Project- Hospital Art work

-Under Current projects, Mental Health Project

22nd of September till the 7th of October 2014 I was hospitalised due to my mental health. There the only things I was really allowed to keep for hobbies were a sketch book some pens and a writing book. I tried to do a sketch each day to show one of my thoughts or feelings.

One of the psychiatric nurses actually saw some of my sketches and commented
“There’s not much colour in these is there?”
My reply- “Well I only have black and grey pens.”
Her answer- “But you didn’t go looking for colour either.”

This made me realise when I actually did start adding more colour into my pictures (More towards my release date) My mood was lifting. Art can be a powerful thing but an Occupational therapist told me people can start dressing darker and that’s when they know they are going to be ill (Due to me dressing darker anyway I had to make a joke that when I get ill I must start dressing more colourful) but maybe I should look out more in my art work what colours and what the mood of the picture is to see what my mental state is.

There was also this picture-

In Passing
In Passing
Now I know I use a lot of clocks/ clock work in my work, the psychiatrist also saw some of my work via my phone and in a way I was psychoanalysed-
Nurse- “You draw a lot of clocks don’t you?”
Me- “Yeah.”
Nurse- “Do you know why?”
Me- “Nope.”
Nurse *Turns to a picture in my mini sketch book and shows it.*- “You’ve shown the answer in this. I think you connect time with your mood disorder, you know each cycle will end but it’s as you mentioned it can be stressful waiting and coping with it. All this clock work, probably represents it’s haunting you, you’ve mentioned you want it all to stop or freeze to give you a break, so maybe this is the way you process it, looking through the cogs and the clocks you are trying to find that part of you that needs fixing that will stop time, your bipolar and other symptoms,”

 

 

 

All the work I did-

Mental Health art project- Update

 I’ve created 4 new images for the mental health project I’m doing, This project has become part of my- Time To Talk Pledge- http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

I pledged to educate others about mental health and raise awareness. 

Bipolar worlds
Bipolar Worlds (2013)
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder but it also changes depending on the mood how the person sees the world.
Dissociative disorder
Dissociative Disorder (Depersonalisation/Derealisation) Unlike Multiple Personality disorder people with Depersonalisation can feel out of control, often like they are seeing themselves do things, but there is not another personality controlling them
Psychosis
Psychosis (2013)
Hallucinations, Delusions that are not always linked to Schizophrenia.
Time to Talk
Time to Talk- Time to change

 

 

Link to the rest of my images for this collection- https://nightmarecat.wordpress.com/current-projects/mental-health/

Also, look out here for more of this collection and for updates