Painting- Centennial, Fallen Poppies

Fallen Poppies (2017)

This painting is mainly a link to my childhood. I grew up in a small town in the UK called Conisbrough, one of the iconic buildings there is Conisbrough Castle, along with that I grew up with a link to history as well as the history of the castle, there was also the history of the World War 1 monument outside it. The poppy is also important to me as well as like others it’s a reminder of the the wars, but there is also a link to my (amazing) mum (Who loves history) but collects the WW1 linked poppies because of the symbolism of them.

I have some small canvas’ going spare with no idea what to do with them, the idea for this piece was to layer up the art work. Each piece focusing on the fall of the poppy, as you grow up you realise more and more what the poppy is about. It starts off with just being a flower linked to some kind of war then as you go into adulthood it becomes much more than that.
Fallen Poppies

Digital art/ Mental health art

Happy Mental Health week!

Can you see me now?

Can you see me now? (2017)

I’ll admit at the moment I’m in a down state, there have probably been signs of it for the past few days but only now, as things have gotten to it’s “Bad,” Level where my mind is wishing for it to end. People tell me, “The mood will pass,” But what they don’t see is that I remember each one of my bad down states, they leave scars , burn marks and blisters. I hide them behind a mask because, in mental illness you have to remain strong.

With mental illness, it’s hard enough to battle with it, battling with the stigma and people’s point of views is another hill to climb over. The people with the conditions will probably think of themselves as something like, “Weak,” Or, “Crazy,” Or even something worse. We don’t need to be told any negative point of views, mental health needs acceptance and to be dealt with appropriately.

 

Body Dysmorphia CUT

Body Dysmorphia (2017)

It’s a condition which distorts how you view yourself, finding flaws in your own appearance, although it’s not always looking too, “Fat,” sometimes the viewer can see themselves as, “Too Skinny,” Or even, “Not symmetrical,” Enough. They can see themselves as being, “Disfigured.” People start working on, “fixing,” themselves doing things like obsessively weighing themselves, over exercising, needing constant reassurance, using heavy makeup or tanning etc.

Sometimes the obsession can lead to eating disorders.

Digital Art/ Mental Health Project

Defusion techniques FINALDefusion Techniques (2017)– It was part of my CBT, to get me to challenge the negative thoughts. To make it better to remember I drew this taking my pet rabbit- Poirot, as a muse. Ok, it doesn’t help all the time to challenge thoughts, especially if you have a mind like mine where you end up having arguments with yourself. I figured I’d show one way to help negative thinking. With Depression, Bipolar disorder or any mental health issue, it’s probably the number 1 trigger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall to PiecesFall to pieces (2017)- One thing about Borderline Personality disorder, I try to get across to people is the oversensitivity some of us have. One little change and our emotions can shift in a matter of seconds. Stability turns into a nervous wreck. It’s like one gust of wind and you’ll find yourself falling to pieces with no idea how to piece yourself back.

 

Fall to Pieces

Fall to Pieces

Digital Art/Mental health project

Inner Child5Inner Child (2017)- I finished CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy) Last week, one of the things mentioned was that emotionally, I’m still a child. I held onto the hope of someone telling me in my childhood that, “Everything is ok,”  For so long, I haven’t grown up properly, hence one of the reasons I have Borderline personality disorder. This piece was to show that no matter what the make up, there is still that piece of me that is anxious when it comes to people because I’m worried about what they will say or do. I can hide behind the make up, pretend to be brave but in the end the part of me that experienced the emotional abuse growing up is still there and is sensitive to that around me.

Time

Mercy tree (2017)

When it comes to mental health issues, time seems like an important thing. An episode of Mania, depression and/or psychosis, can last for days, weeks or even months, the ticking of the clock can get annoying waiting for the episode to pass. You can hope that the episode will go as fast as possible but the truth is, it will last as long as it wants too. Telling someone to, “Get over it,” Never works. Each cog on the tree represents a day. You need to wait, till each cog has fallen for the clocks to stop again before the sky becomes clear blue again.

Digital Art/ Mental Health Project

FreedomCUTFreedom (2017)

If you’ve been stuck in a situation long enough, you can feel trapped in it. However, once you get out, there then comes the task of having to fix yourself. Like if you’re abused by someone, it can take time trying to get out of it but then there is the task of fixing the emotional scars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CBT (2017) – I’m cCBT9oming to the end of my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it’s probably the number one asked question is, “What have you learned?” Most of the time my mind is too either slow or busy to come up with a real answer. So, to make my therapist happy, I made this..

 

 

 

Painting Project + Update

 

Dreamer.png Cage on the Ground (2017)

Inspired by the Flyleaf Song Cage on the Ground. The song really speaks to me, as to me personally it talks about the cage we all are stuck in but we do have a chance to escape it and break out of this control society has on us

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update- 

As I have mentioned in my artwork and explanations, I have various mental health conditions. I’m actually happy to announce my story on Bipolar and one of my artworks has been published on The Guardian Website 🙂

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/31/experiences-of-bipolar-disorder-every-day-it-feels-like-i-must-wear-a-mask

 

Fanart- Ellen Schreiber’s Vampire Kisses Valentine fan art competition

V.K Valentines FanArt.jpg

Around February Author Ellen Schreiber announced a fan art competition for her manga/book series Vampire Kisses as a major fan of the books I decided to have a go… I was one of the 2 winners and won a signed book and book mark 🙂

Painting project

3-times-a-day-7-days-a-week3 times a day, 7 days a week (2016)
One of the things about having Chronic Illnesses is the amount of medication you can be stuck with. This is some of the empty blister packets I have and decided to use. The clocks symbolise the times of day to take my tablets and the flowers are there because sometimes the medication doesn’t work and the only thing you have going is positive thinking and hope

ribs-and-heartRibs and heart (2017)

I haven’t done oil painting in a while. The feeling of anxiety had been gripping me that week. The feeling like something was tightening my chest was there.  My first thought was to draw a hand squeezing a heart, but as I painted it progressed into flowers and vines flowing down the ribs.