22nd of September till the 7th of October 2014 I was hospitalised due to my mental health. There the only things I was really allowed to keep for hobbies were a sketch book some pens and a writing book. I tried to do a sketch each day to show one of my thoughts or feelings.
One of the psychiatric nurses actually saw some of my sketches and commented
“There’s not much colour in these is there?”
My reply- “Well I only have black and grey pens.”
Her answer- “But you didn’t go looking for colour either.”
This made me realise when I actually did start adding more colour into my pictures (More towards my release date) My mood was lifting. Art can be a powerful thing but an Occupational therapist told me people can start dressing darker and that’s when they know they are going to be ill (Due to me dressing darker anyway I had to make a joke that when I get ill I must start dressing more colourful) but maybe I should look out more in my art work what colours and what the mood of the picture is to see what my mental state is.
There was also this picture-
Now I know I use a lot of clocks/ clock work in my work, the psychiatrist also saw some of my work via my phone and in a way I was psychoanalysed-
Nurse- “You draw a lot of clocks don’t you?”
Nurse- “Do you know why?”
Nurse *Turns to a picture in my mini sketch book and shows it.*- “You’ve shown the answer in this. I think you connect time with your mood disorder, you know each cycle will end but it’s as you mentioned it can be stressful waiting and coping with it. All this clock work, probably represents it’s haunting you, you’ve mentioned you want it all to stop or freeze to give you a break, so maybe this is the way you process it, looking through the cogs and the clocks you are trying to find that part of you that needs fixing that will stop time, your bipolar and other symptoms,”